Whores, Hoops and the Levy Corollary

Hoops

The Levy Corollary. Have you ever heard of this concept?  Well, I hadn’t until this weekend. But I heard it explained in a more direct way and from a relative . . .who lives in Indiana . . .who is hovering somewhere in his 40’s. We’ll just call him “Cousin David.” So what do you ask, does this have to do with fashion? You decide . . .

 

PICTURE THIS:  An amazing family get away in Put-in-Bay, Ohio. We were having the time of our lives. An amazing log cabin situated right on the shores of the island overlooking Lake Eerie. Bars, restaurants, shopping – all via golf carts on this beautiful quaint, island. Did I mention the bars? Fast forward to the evening I pranced down the stairs of our picture-perfect rental (and I forget what I was wearing everywhere else) but I did have some, nice, big, golden hoops dangling from my lobes – and so the lesson began.

Cousin David immediately notices my hoops and begins to tell me that when his daughter was young, she wanted desperately to wear hoop earrings. He said he wouldn’t allow it and told her that the size of a girl’s hoop earrings can be interpreted as a representation of her promiscuity.  Translation: The bigger the hoop, the bigger the whore. 

Was this just a scary Dad-isim to scare his young daughter? Was this something that people in Ohio adopted from the Amish? Nope. David was right about this concept. It’s got a place in the Urban Dictionary. It seems that a self-proclaimed Suburbanstylista might occasionally learn a little something about the meaning of accessories from a guy whose wardrobe consists mainly of Ohio State t-shirts. So here you have the formal definition:

Levy Corollary
A principle that states “The diameter of a woman’s hoop earrings is directly proportional to her level of promiscuity.”The Levy Corollary is a filter used by men when trying to identify potential sexual partners at a bar or club for single-night session of sexual intercourse.
Although the Levy Corollary can easily be used in a derogatory way (by women, their husbands/boyfriends who are within earshot, etc.), it should not. Attire conforming to the Levy Corollary is useful for both males and females, as it signals a conscious intent to find sexual activity. This helps to negate the chance of miscommunication or wasted effort on the behalf of both parties.
“Based upon the Levy Corollary, I knew that chick with hoops the size of a CD was ready to go!”
 


I have a collection of hoop earrings in every size and metallic finish.  I love the simplicity of a hoop. I love that two pairs; silver and gold can take me through a long Labor Day weekend. I love that chandelier earrings and studs can come and go, but hoops are a classic in my book. What I didn’t love was that what Cousin David saw me wearing were my small-medium hoops. Not even close to the big guys (my favorites) – the super, slutty ones.

But I’m keeping my hoops. I’m going to stand by them as a classic accessory. I’m a married woman so I’m saying that the Levy Corollary does not apply to me. But thanks to this little lesson, if I see you wearing any hoops bigger than a bottlecap, I’m always gonna wonder and maybe the guys will too…and I’m certain I know what Cousin David is thinking.

Have you ever heard of this? Do you believe in the Levy Corollary or do you love your hoops?  I need to know… How slutty are your ears?

Wow. It's Quiet Here...

Be the first to start the conversation!

Leave a Reply:

Gravatar Image