Oh The Things That You Can Wax! And The Yearbook Entry You Can’t Forget.


I have a confession to make. I have extremely hairy arms. CORRECTION: I HAD extremely hairy arms. Thanks to the hotties on Vanderpump Rules and a fabulous gay man I knew in 7th grade, I took the initiative to commit to yet another shallow, beauty regimen that will occupy more maintenance time and money.


WHO CARES?! Because I love my new arms.

I’m Italian (50%) and my fair complexion has done little to diminish the appearance of the long, dark hair inhabiting my arms for as long as I can remember. I’ve combed it (no lie) put mousse on it (truth) and feel I have to smooth it down every time I don short sleeves. But what I remember most is this:



It’s subtle honesty at its JEST from a great guy. But I will admit that when you’re in 7th grade, it stings. . . AND it sticks. (Thank God he called me “smart.”) Now thanks to Facebook, I know that my friend, body-hair critic and author of the yearbook entry above has grown-up to be a happily engaged, adorable, amazing gay man.  I should have known.  I’m now thankful for the feedback of long ago. A gay man is always right. I remember his adolescent words and decided it was finally time to say goodbye to my Cro-Magnon forearm fur. Thanks Pat.

Another factor motivating me to go bare was an episode of Vanderpump Rules (awesome) where the flawless (only physically) servers at Sur went CRAY-CRAY waxing every last hair on their body.  Yes, I’m a follower. Yes, I’m vain. Yes, I’ll try anything once. Thank you too, Stassi.

My favorite nail tech Julie was the lucky girl chosen to do the honors of removing 42 years of arm hair growth. We decided to go from knuckle to elbow. It took about 10 minutes and was surprisingly not painful. What WAS painful was the inclusion of my knuckles. Nothing validates this procedure more than someone acknowledging your hairy knuckles . . . it’s oh-so-feminine (ouch.)

Dear Julie was  obviously uncomfortable with all of the smiling and clapping and photo taking I was doing during the waxing. God, why did I wait so long to do this? It was the most worthwhile $30 I’ve ever spent. I left the salon with a perma-smile, stroking my bare arms and showing everyone who might care even a tiny bit – my sexy, hairless arms.

Ahhhhh. I can finally apply lotion to my arms without the worry of it looking like a Donald Trump comb-over. Sorry, I’m not interested in shaving my arms (I dread shaving my legs.) Laser hair removal is just too darn expensive and time consuming. Me? I’ll be the girl ripping the hair off of my arms each month from now until forever. Wanna see?

Congrats. You win, because I decided not to post the “during” photos. It was mostly to prove to my husband that this needed to be done and to show the drastic before and after . . .  as well as show him the disgusting wax strip that looked like a murk in (see also: pubic wig) for a teenage girl. 


Wow. It's Quiet Here...

Be the first to start the conversation!

Leave a Reply:

Gravatar Image