Good (Shopping) Karma


I don’t practice organized religion. I don’t pray to Jesus.  But I do find my Jewish neighbor wearing a Santa hat offensive and I do believe in Karma. Cold, hard, Karma never fails to make it’s way around, which is why I firmly believe in practicing Good Shopping Karma. Forget making a New Year’s Resolution. Instead, try making a permanent change. Vow to create Good Shopping Karma and sales, sizes and jeans that make your butt look perfect just might make their way through the universe and right to you. Typically I’m not one to preach but here goes anyway. . .

Take everything you bring into the dressing room out with you when you leave. This means also bringing anything out that the lazy, a-hole in there before you just left hanging for her minions to re-rack.

WHY: If it’s re-racked properly, you or someone else can find it when you need it. It’s not hiding in the dressing room.

KARMIC PAYBACK: Just when you think that last, lonely sweater you love is in everything BUT your size, you flip to the very last hanger to see a “medium” waiting just for you.

Knocked it off the hanger and onto the floor? Well, pick that shit up!

WHY: For Buddah’s sake you have arms (if you do) use them! If you dumped a bag of chips on the floor anywhere you would make the effort to pick them up. Same goes for retail.

KARMIC PAYBACK: Just maybe that maxi dress you grabbed off the sale rack won’t have a huge grease mark up the front from being left on the floor and caught under a wobbling, squeaking, TJ Maxx shopping cart wheel.  Things that look good and clean have the chance to find you and make YOU look good.

Be kind to Sales Associates. Always.

WHY: They aren’t just there to make minimum wage and get a great discount. They are there to help you. And a little “niceness” can go a long way when you need an insiders help finding something.  Even if they aren’t the nicest, you still may need a hand and chances are they are gonna remember that you gave their crabby-ass a smile.

KARMIC PAYBACK: When you run back looking for the emerald green Hobo bag that was “just hanging here about 5 minutes ago,” the sales associate that you so nicely greeted-back with an “I’m great. How are you?” just might be able to tell you exactly where it went.

EXTRA BONUS KARMA POINTS: Always, no matter what, return your shopping cart to its rightful store or cart corral.

WHY: I really believe in a place for everything and everything in it’s place. Retail establishments (usually) don’t leave their carts parked anywhere and everywhere for you too run and find. Cart Corrals are placed in parking lots to protect your car and the integrity of the shopping cart. Even if there is no corral, I always return my cart – even taking it into the store if needed. (I told you this was “EXTRA BONUS.”)

KARMIC PAYBACK: Dry carts. Quite carts. Smooth-rolling carts. Clean carts. Carts where they’re supposed to be. Carts that have all the right baby-belt parts. Happy Carts. Ready when you are.

Shopping and otherwise, karma is real. I’ve seen it rear it’s ugly head with others. I’ve seen it bite me in the ass and reel me in. I’ve also seen the inside of my happy, well-stocked closet full of things I love  – and I wish you all the same. Namaste.

I would love to hear how you practice Good Shopping Karma. Preach to me kids! I’m ready to learn. Also, there is quite a debate in the cybersphere about the capitalization of the word “Karma.” I went with it because giving it the prominence I feel it deserved just seemed like good Karma.

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