But You Can Leave Your Shoes On…

Feet

If you are thinking of inviting me to a party this holiday season, especially if it’s an “adult party” (meaning cocktails and tapas will be served instead of juice boxes and goldfish crackers AND an Evite or possibly even something made of paper was your invitation) don’t you dare ask me to take my shoes off when I get there.

Here comes the rant . . .

Asking a grown woman to come to your soiree means giving her the opportunity (or chore – depending on your stance) to get all gussied-up and feel good about herself for the evening. This includes the right to don awesome footwear. It’s no party taking the time to get your “fash-on” and then having to ditch your footwear upon arrival. They are quite possibly the one thing that is pulling it all together. Listen, I don’t want to drink wine with you while you’re wearing socks. And do you really think my outfit looks fantastic with my wide-leg trousers puddled-up around my ankles like the Wicked Witch of the West? Heck no. They NEED their wedges! Oh, did I mention they’re sitting alone near the front door?

In anticipation of this dreadful request, I’ve gone so far as to wear no socks so you’ll be disgusted that my bare feet are traipsing around your fete. I’ve also on another occasion, brought a second pair of shoes with me. Ha! This pair didn’t even touch the sidewalk leading up to your door. I’m not even asking if it’s OK, I’m just popping these on instead.

Although I will always ask if you want me to remove my shoes when I arrive, please note that I am going to judge you by your response:

If you say no, I breath a sigh of relief. The time spent putting my outfit together was not a waste. You are an amazing hostess, accepting the fact that shoes go both in and outside! You are a “party partner” for life. Thanks.

If I arrive at your party and I am asked to remove the perfect platforms that were born to accompany my dress, you can bet that we’ll still be friends, but this could very well be the final stop on our party circuit. One drink and me and my bare feet are outie. Bye.

Ah. I feel much better now. I needed to get that off my chest. Remember when Carrie Bradshaw was asked to remove her shoes at a party and ended up losing her Manolo’s? Well even worse is losing your dignity by being asked to take off your shoes. Yeah, I’m equating footwear with dignity – so what? I promise to wipe my feet first, if I can leave my shoes on.

This post is dedicated to “Big John,” who would never ask me to take my shoes off at his party but would definitely tell me he liked them. I’m looking forward to seeing him up and at ’em soon. With our shoes on or off, we are all rooting for you John!

 

2 Responses to “But You Can Leave Your Shoes On…”

  1. Sara November 9, 2011 at 11:08 am #

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    Sorry, my friend. I do ask people to take their shoes off if they’re coming for a visit. I have a basket of comfy slippers for them to don while in my humble abode. Shoes on in the house means dirt, grime, chemicals, poo (yes, I said it poo) in my house. Don’t like it, don’t want it, don’t need it. So there.
    Although, if I’m hosting and people stay off the carpet I have no problem cleaning after. Especially if the party is an indoor/outdoor affair. Although, then it would be nice out and how hard is it really to kick off a sandal or flip flop?

    Sincerely, Your dirt phobic friend. =)

  2. Kelly November 9, 2011 at 11:25 am #

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    I love some good, old-fashioned fashion banter! Thanks for the comment. Yes, poop is gross. No problem at all kicking off my shoes for a visit. In fact, I always automatically slip off my kicks for a casual visit with friends.

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